Stat profiles for 1500 golfers
Many are wondering when Tiger Woods will come back, could it be at the WGC-Ca, or the Travistock, Masters or the U.S. Open? Could Tiger sit out the year, nobody knows and it's all pure speculation.
Talking about speculation, over the Christmas holiday I viewed for the 50th time the great Jimmy Stewart movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and it gave me a thought, what would the PGA Tour and golf be without Tiger Woods? What would be the framework of the PGA Tour, who would be it's stars, how much money would they be playing for and would golf be better if Woods was never born?
Think about this question, here is my take along with Robinson Holloway on how we feel the PGA Tour would be like if Tiger Woods was never born. Then give us your thoughts in our comment board on the bottom of the page.
Sal Johnson
Publisher - GolfObserver
--------------------------------A man stands thoughtfully on the Mississippi 42 Bridge, near where the Bouie River meets the Leaf in Hattiesburg. Earlier that evening he had sent his Stanford-cap wearing decoy out into another part of the city with the paparazzi in tow.
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“The world would be a better place if I had never lived,” he sobs, rocking back and forth on the edge of the bridge. A split second after Eldrick finishes his self-pitying sentence, guardian angel Bob Rosburg appears at his side and says, “Jury’s still out on that one, Tiger.”
“And damned if I am going to do the Clarence the angel/Jimmy Stewart crap and jump into the river to have you save me -- we’re going to go straight to the part where I show you what the world would be like without you.”
“Rossi!? But you’re dead. Am I dead?”
“Don’t be stupid, Tiger, of course you are alive – but the world I am about to show you is the one that would have been if you had never been born. Wipe your face -- you’re a mess. Let’s go.”
The first stop the two men make is Augusta National, where the annual gathering of past Masters winners, the Champions Dinner, is just beginning. Eldrick looks around, surprised to see several unexpected people wearing green jackets.
“Monty won the Masters? How did that happen?”
“Monty won it back in ’97,” Rosburg explains. “You weren’t there to intimidate and demoralize him in his third round pairing, so instead of shooting 74-81 on the weekend, he shot 70-71 and won by 2 over Tom Kite. It wasn’t a particularly exciting tournament, and CBS wasn’t even nominated for an Emmy.”
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“He’s on a fishing boat in the Gulf of Mexico. Did you really think that Mark O’Meara would have started winning majors at age 41 if you hadn’t been around to push and inspire him? David Duval won the ‘98 Masters in a playoff over Fred Couples.”
“Where’s David, Rossi? Oh, I see him. Man, he’s gotten fat. Not as fat as Monty, of course. In fact, almost everyone here looks a little soft and chubby.”
“That’s because you weren’t around, Tiger, to show people that strength training wouldn’t inhibit golf performance. Players still fear that getting muscular will produce the Keith Clearwater effect and ruin their careers.”
Eldrick notices that most of the attention in the room is on Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els, who seem to be having a falsely convivial conversation. “What’s up with Phil and Ernie, Rossi?”
“Ah. Those two are the great rivals of the last decade or so. It’s been truly thrilling as each has battled the other at multiple majors, and both are tied with six apiece. They hate each other, of course, and are both desperate to win a seventh major this week and pass Nick Faldo as the greatest golfer since the Nicklaus and Watson era ended.”
“Can we hang out here a while? I’d like to listen to the stories. Never mind, I just saw [expletive] Sergio in a green jacket -- can we go, please?”
“Sure, we’ve still got lots to see. Though I can’t promise we won’t run into Sergio again -- in fact, I promise we will.
Hmm,” says Rossi, considering. “I wonder if should I take you to see the empty lots where Nike doesn’t manufacture golf equipment, or the fields and parks where golf courses haven’t been built because there was no eagerness to exploit the Tiger boom in the game. Nah, you know what, let’s just walk over to the Masters Media Center.”
“Not my favorite place on these grounds,” grumbles Eldrick.
“Hey! The 1st tee is way up where it used to be!”
“Mm hmm. No Tiger-proofing needed. Keep walking.”
The two men enter the large, light-filled building just off the first fairway and walk unseen past the Pinkerton guards. Eldrick picks up a copy of Golf World magazine and glances at the cover: Rickie Fowler: the Next Nicklaus at last?
Rosburg looks over Eldrick’s shoulder and chuckles. “When you were around, Tiger, we finally got a break from that ‘next Nicklaus’ crap. Without you, it pops up almost every time a kid shoots a 64.”
Flipping through the magazine, Eldrick comes across this headline: Commissioner Norton Has A Plan.
“Hughes [expletive] Norton is the PGA Tour commissioner? [Expletives].”
“Yep. Golf wasn’t growing fast enough to satisfy the players, and after Finchem couldn’t negotiate revenue increases in the TV contracts, Norton came over from IMG to try to save the day. Purses have gone up a bit -- last year’s was a record with two players crossing the $4 million mark. There may not be the hundreds of millions that you brought to the game, but these sons of bitches are still playing golf for a lot more money than Dow Finsterwald and I ever saw. Even the TV networks are making money with golf, and because of that ABC and ESPN are still televising the Tour.
“The PGA Tour is a quieter place without you, but individual tournaments are stronger, because there is no FedExCup and no WGCs to weaken their fields. And there are still Buick courtesy cars at every event -- by not changing their advertising and sticking to their niche in the older demographic, Buick has been keeping GM afloat these days. ”
Eldick shakes his head as he follows Rossi into the huge amphitheatre where the world’s media gather to cover the Masters, and sees that it is largely empty. “Where are all of the golf writers? Never thought I’d ever ask that question.”
“First of all, it’s dinner and cocktail time, so many of the writers that are here in Augusta have already left the building. But even if we had gotten here earlier you would have seen a lot of empty spaces in the rows of desks. Print media is dying, and that has nothing to do with whether or not you are alive or dead, but as far as golf goes, few sports departments want to spend the money to cover a minor sport that is seen as boring and full of fat white men.
“I think we’ve spent enough time here,” says Rosburg with snap of his fingers. “Let’s go to St Andrews.”
Eldrick’s ears are assaulted by the riotous cheering and applause from the grandstands that line the 18th green of the Old Course, and he blinks rapidly as his eyes adjust to the blinding sunlight. “Who is that coming up, Rossi? I can’t tell.”
“It’s Sergio. You are about to witness a great moment in golf history. Sergio Garcia is about to become the fifth man to win the career grand slam, the first since Nicklaus did it in ‘66. After he won the 1999 PGA Championship at Medinah at age 19, everyone thought that he would be the next Nicklaus, or at least the next Seve, but it wasn’t until he got married and settled down a few years ago that he has started playing to his potential.”
Eldrick grimaces as he watches Garcia putt out for the historic win and bow to the rapturous gallery. “Wow, the crowds here really love the little punk, don’t they? Look at his smug little grin. Wait, who’s that? ELIN??!!? He’s married to Elin? Noooooooooooo!”
“Yep. She’s been the making of him. Lovely girl. They seem very happy. Cute kids, too.”
“Send me back, Rossi, send me back,” wails the anguished Eldrick. “Don’t let Sergio have my wife and kids! Let me try to make things better. I’ll be faithful, I won’t curse and throw clubs, I’ll sign more autographs than [expletive] Mickelson and Palmer put together. I promise I’ll put as much effort into regaining everyone’s trust as I did in perfecting my stinger shot. Please, please Rossi!”
“Well, I do have better things to do with my time than to wander through alternate universes with you. You were a jerk in your last life, and a bit of a whiner in this one. But I’ll be watching you -- don’t make me come back down again!”
Rosburg snaps his fingers and once again Eldrick Tiger Woods is a solitary figure on that bridge in Mississippi.
As he reclaims his place in heaven, Rosburg is stopped by Clarence the winged angel, who asks him if he thinks Tiger Woods will return to golf a changed man.
“He’s got no shot.”
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OK, there is our take on what we feel golf would be like if Tiger Woods wasn't born, the big question, what would you think. Below in our comment form we give you a spot to give us your thoughts, be as creative as you can and let's see who has the best take on this guestion.
8 comments
phantom --- May 19th, 2010 10:19 am
| The game of golf would be better without woods. He's no Nicklaus. |
KCW --- May 10th, 2010 07:20 am
| Without Tiger, golf would be a sport without beer drinking morons shouting "GET IN THE HOOOOOLE!". Without Tiger, golf would still be a megapopular sport, played by fewer but more intelligent people. Without Tiger, other players would get the credit they deserve. Without Tiger, people would have re-played David Love III's chip in on the par 3 16th in 1998 - not Tigers much easier copy shot several years later. Without Tiger golf fans would have to actually know something about golf. Without Tiger journalist would have to earn a living creating real golf articles about tournament play in stead of just writing the same Tiger Praise every week. Without Tiger golf would be a game for gentlemen. Without Tiger golf would not be in danger of fading away like a has been fashion trend. Without Tiger it's not too late for the sport to save itself. |
marnie --- May 5th, 2010 03:46 am
| without tiger, golf would be so boring to watch, not many people would be enthused to watch golf. tiger made the game of golf very exciting to watch. He raised the bar of this sport. Even now that he is not playing so well, people still long for him to win tournament. I don't play golf and never did watch till Tiger came along and beat this game. |
STORMIE --- May 2nd, 2010 08:51 am
| WELL GUYS: DON'T KNOW AN ATHLETE WHOM HAS IMPACTED THE "SPORTING ENVIRONMENT", SUCH AS TIGER HAS; NOR WILL THERE EVER BE. (THE MISTAKE THAT HUMANS MADE, IS THE FACT THAT THEY GAVE TIGER ALL THAT GLORY AND HONOR, NEEDLESSLY.) TRUE, HE DID INFACT RACTICALLY PUT THE G O L F INTO GOLFING, YET WHAT PEOPLE COMPLETELY OVERLOOKED, WAS THE REALITY THAT TIGER, LIKE US ALL, IS MERELY AN IMPERFECT HUMAN. FOR THIS REASON - HE DOES FALL SHORT, BY MERE FACT THAT HE (LIKE EVERY ONE OF US) WAS BORN, AS IMPERFECT. AND SO HAVING LEARNED THIS, WHY NOT ALLOW HIM TO DRAW STRENGTH FROM HIS PAST ERRORS, AND PROCEED ON. DON'T HATE - CELEBRATE!!!! AS WITHOUT TIGER HAVING GRACED THE "GREENS" AS HE DID - OUR ECONOMIC STIMULATION WOULD NEVER EVER, HAVE BEEN REALISED, AND FOR AS LONG, TOO. AND YES, IT TOOK THIS, OF AN INDIVIDUAL, TO HAVE THIS REALISED, BUT LET'S FACE IT, COULD NO OTHER, IN THIS "SPACE OF TIME", ACCOMPLISH SAME. NOT BY A LONG SHOT!! |
Snowman --- Mar 2nd, 2010 04:09 pm
| This was pretty funny, I like the little side references all along. Not sure I agree with it, but the Sergio and Eels things do have a little ring of truth to them. |
GeorgeM --- Feb 15th, 2010 05:12 pm
| Amen on McHacker re Robinson. For those foreign to WTW and Inside The Ropes, perhaps some background would be good. Also nice to see a well edited article. (Sorry Sal. Just because I don't complain, it doesn't mean I don't notice.) Without Woods, we would be more familiar with more PGAT members. The media focus on Woods has resulted in too many being ignored. If the angel is correct, the stronger fields at smaller events would have resulted in fewer events lost. We might still have The International. |
McHacker --- Feb 15th, 2010 10:58 am
| Glad to hear from the talented Robinson. Keep them coming. I'd like to think that if Duval had stayed chubby, he'd have avoided back problems and maybe not gotten "bored" with the game or decided that it wasn't worth the effort. One other question -- if we assume that the economic bubble money and engineering talent that has been pumped into golf over the past 20 years or so would have gone elsewhere, what sport would have taken off instead? Would Americans have decided that housing developments all needed to be built around world class soccer (err... ok... football) facilities? |
BElliott --- Feb 15th, 2010 10:43 am
| Without Tiger...there'd be a lot fewer private jets; most pro golfers would be more humble due to more intrusive body searches at airports; fewer books would have been written; Garcia and Monty still wouldn't have won a major between them, Mickelson would have won more, Els would be heading for double figures; several women would be smiling less; one woman would be smiling more; Nike would be a small-time shoe-maker; Jack Nicklaus would be heading happily towards his dotage; Steve Stricker - someone's god help us - would be the greatest golfer in the world; the USA and UK would not have invaded Iraq; only a handful of people would have heard of Barack Obama and even they wouldn't care much; Father Xmas would still be alive. |
