Frank Hannigan | |
He's back. After a bit of a rest Frank Hannigan is back with more of his opinions and thoughts on golf.
Today Hannigan spoofs the notion that golf may be infected with drugs.
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GolfObserver editors
What the New York Times has to say about drugs in Golf
August 14, 2006
Predictably, the New York Times has run a sloppy and alarmist story about the prospect of drugs infecting golf. . "Peril for a game of honor?" teases the used-to-be newspaper of record on page 1. The story can be found on the web with the title In Steroid era, will Golf's intergrity stand test?
The story is devoid of useful facts but replete with player quotes both uninformed and full of contradictions. Great golfers know how to score. They are not chemists or physiologists.
A vague connection is drawn by the Times between the lengthening of courses and the possible use of drugs with a chart displaying the ever-increasing distance of courses used for major championships, e.g., Winged Foot was 6,987 yards long for the l997 PGA Championship and 7,264 yards for this year's US Open.
Courses have been lengthened and otherwise made more difficult for one reason - to keep the scoring as it was in the past. The US Open at Winged Foot was considered successful because the winning score was 5 over par, essentially the same as the 7 over par winning score at Winged Foot in l974.
Distance has shot up not because of a new species of "fitter" players nor drugs but because of an abject failure by the rules-making bodies. The United States Golf Association and the Royal and Ancient Golf Club refused to deal with livelier clubs and balls because they were afraid that if they banned a club or ball already in use there might be a revolution.
Here's how silly the distance factor has become: in l980, the first year during which the PGA Tour measured drives, the leader was Dan Pohl with an average of 274.3. Today, on the senior tour, Pohl's distance average is 293.7.
The USGA and R&A, in an attempt to portray themselves as authoritative, will see to it that there is testing of a sort done at the World Amateur Team Championships in South Africa this fall.
If they are going to use the drug standards of the International Olympic Committee, they might nab a kid from Lithuania with marijuana in his bodily fluids. Or, God forbid, caffeine.
Do note that no testing was done at the US or British Opens. Because that's where the money is. Moreover, neither the USGA nor R&A warms to the idea of commanding Tiger Woods to pee in a cup. (Woods. by the way, makes sense in the Times piece by raising the fundamental questions of who does the testing and what are you looking for?)
Based on my observations and experience, I opine there was considerable experimentation with the form of drug known as beta blockers during the l980s and on into the l990s. Beta blockers slow the heart rate. The Times, which has a steady gallery of academics dying to see their names in the newspaper, gets a quote from an Oregonian doctor saying "You can see that happening with putting."
See WHAT happening with putting? Who is to say there is a correlation between a lower pulse rate and scoring? Who is to say a slower pulse rate doesn't mitigate against the skill and white-hot concentration needed to hit a lob wedge straight up in the air over a bunker so that the ball spins and stops 2 feet from the hole? Tiger doesn't do that with drugs. He does it because he is a genius.
Tiger Woods would win if the ball was a wiffle ball l.68" in diameter and his diet was limited to yogurt and orange juice.
In any event, beta blockers are a thing of the past on the PGA Tour. They did not improve scoring.
Steroids? Let's assume, even if there is not a scintilla of evidence yet to back the assumption, that steroids could be taken by golfers so as to add bulk and club head speed. Fine. Might the added bulk not adversely what we call "touch and feel."?
What I suggest is that golf may be immune from the scourge of performance enhancing drugs. By luck. That suggestion has nothing to do with morality or honor but rather the weird variety of skills and self-belief required for success.
A player named Joe Ogilvie is now a favored spokesman for golf writers looking for a sound-bite. Ogilvie has a degree in economics from Duke, plays the stock market and knows Warren Buffett. Thus, he has become the John Maynard Keynes of Ponte Vedra. (Incidentally, I myself have met Warren Buffett twice. The second time was at a wedding reception. Sadly, he did not recall our first meeting).
Ogilvie said to the Times "I don't think there is any doubt there will be cheaters. . . Golf is all about length." This is the same
Ogilvie who proclaimed a few weeks ago that the lounge act of Michelle Wie playing with men is good for the Tour.
Distance is relative. It is not as though only the most powerful have become longer. Everybody got longer - because of equipment.
Two of the most recent winners are relatively short drivers. Dean Wilson, 146th in driving distance this year, the most recent tour event. Two weeks ago the winner was Corey Pavin, who is dead last on the Tour, 200th, won at Milwaukee. Corey Pavin does not look like Barry Bonds to me.
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